Today marks the end of my 2nd week in the states. I think I’m settling rather .. slowly. By settling I really refer to my handle of work, as home life is just too much for me any given day, any given country for that matter.
I wished if I cried. Crying is a blessing. It cleanses your soul, rids you the pain. I haven’t.
My coping mechanism with being away from home remains the same: ‘failure to communicate’, and ‘missing strangers’. It is as if all my English has departed me, and I’m left with the bare minimum: asking and answering about the weather. I really wish to cry instead.
And it is the strangers who keep you up at night! By strangers, I mean those who you know, or have once known, but departed long ago that each of you lives in their own planet. They are not mean per say, for all practical reasons they could be angels actually. What is mean, is regret: you thinking ‘what if’, and maybe if they could be here as well; physically or other-wise, while deep down you know that that ship has sailed long ago- as a matter of fact, you may know that there were no ship to begin with!.
As usual, this writing aims the least to make sense. It aims to free my mind.
Praying for guidance,